13:20Let's think to ourselves for a moment.
让我们思考一下自己。
How many of us feel completely ourselves at work?
我们中有多少人在工作时感觉自己完全就是自己？
If you did not immediately jump to a yes answer to that question, then you are like a lot of people in the working world.
如果你没有立即对这个问题做出肯定的回答，那么你其实和职场上的很多人一样。
And even if you did think yes, chances are, you will be leading or managing others who will not answer that question in the same way.
即使你的答案是肯定的，但你领导或管理的其他人的回答很可能却不是如此。
So we all have something to learn about tailoring our communication to our identities, wherever those identities may be.
因此，我们都需要学习如何根据我们的身份来调整我们的交流方式，无论这些身份是什么。
And, identities in the workplace are increasingly important.
而且，工作场所的身份越来越重要。
Studies are showing that job seekers look for more diversity of identities and inclusion at work.
研究表明，求职者希望在工作中有更多的身份多样性和包容性。
And studies also highlight problems.
研究也强调了一些问题。
For example, according to one study, 1 in 3 women do not feel comfortable expressing contrary opinions at work without fear of repercussion.
例如，根据一项研究，三分之一的女性在工作中表达相反的意见会感到不舒服，因为她们害怕受到影响。
So we have work to do.
所以我们仍然任重道远。
To help us better tailor our communication to our identities, we draw lessons from Communicate with Mastery, by JD Schramm.
为了帮助我们更好地根据自己的身份定制沟通方式，我们从 JD Schramm 的《精通沟通》一书中吸取了教训。
In chapter six of the book, he lays out a framework that leaders can follow to authentically communicate to fit their identity.
在书的第六章中，他提出了一个框架，领导者可以遵循这个框架来真实地沟通，以符合他们的身份。
We call this the four C's, clarity, confidence, competence, and connection.
我们称之为四个 C 原则：清晰、自信、能力和联系。
As leaders, we need to hit on all four of these to authentically leverage our identities in our communication.
作为领导者，我们需要抓住这四个方面，在沟通中真正地利用我们的身份。
I will start by talking about clarity, and why clarity is essential for communicators of all backgrounds, but also why I have found clarity to be particularly important to me as a gay man.
我将从清晰度开始，讨论表达清晰为什么对所有背景的沟通者都至关重要，尤其是作为同性恋者的我。
Clarity is simple.
想要表达清晰其实很简单。
It's really about choosing words and saying them in a way that removes doubt and ambiguity for your audience.
它实际上是关于选择合适的词语，并以一种消除听众怀疑和歧义的方式来表达它们。
To improve our clarity, there are a few rules we can follow.
为了提高我们的清晰度，我们可以遵循一些规则。
The first is to be mindful of the diversity of your audience.
首先要注意你的受众的多样性。
If you're leading a team that has no university backgrounds, some of the expressions you might be comfortable using in corporate America will not resonate with everyone.
如果你领导着一个没有大学背景的团队，一些你在美国公司中使用得很舒服的表达方式可能不会引起每个人的共鸣。
For example, if you work at professional services, you may have heard people say things like, let's just run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes it.
例如，如果你在专业服务部门工作，你可能会听到人们说这样的话：“我要把这个词放在旗杆上，看看是否有人向它致敬。”
A much better way to make the same point would be to say, let's check with upper management and see what they think of our idea.
一个更好的说法其实是：“让我们和高层管理人员核实一下，看看他们对我们的想法有什么看法。”
So you want to be careful about using idioms that will not make your message clear to everyone on your team.
所以，避免使用那些你团队中的人可能不理解的习语。
Second, use concrete and specific language instead of pronouns and generalities.
第二，使用具体具体的语言，而不是使用代词和泛泛之词。
When I first started working in consulting, I had a partner who used to say that pronouns are poison.
当我刚开始从事咨询工作时，我的一个伙伴曾经说过，代词是毒药。
When I would present to him and use a pronoun he would stop me and he would say, wait, who is it, or who are they?
当我向他介绍并使用一个代词时，他会阻止我，他会说，它是谁，或者他们是谁？
And after many rounds of this, I got his point.
经过几轮这样的较量，我终于明白了他的意思。
In speaking, when you throw around so many pronouns, and you can see this, your audience will quickly lose track of what you're saying, and your clarity will plummet as a result.
在演讲中，当你抛出这么多代词时，你可以看到，你的听众很快就会忘记你在说什么，这会导致你的清晰度直线下降。
So your audience will thank you if instead you avoid some of those pronouns, and use concrete and specific language instead.
所以，如果你避免使用这些代词，而是使用具体和具体的语言，你的听众会感谢你的。
Finally, speak with certainty.
最后，说话要肯定。
If you say to a member of your team, hey, it would be kind of nice to have a copy of that report on my desk by Friday, what does that even mean?
如果你对你的团队成员说：“嘿，如果周五之前我能拿到一份报告就好了”，这到底是什么意思呢？
Is it due on Friday?
这个报告是要周五交吗？
Is that not due on Friday?
是周五就要交吗？
When we use hedging language, like perhaps or maybe, or sort of, or kind of, we make our message much less clear to our audience.
当我们使用模棱两可的语言时，比如“perhaps”、“maybe”、“sort of”或“kind of”时，我们就会让我们的听众更不清楚我们的信息。
So again, let's do our audience a favor and speak with certainty, this way our message will be more clear.
所以，考虑到听者的感受，让我们用肯定的方式说话，这样我们的信息就会更清楚。
The report is due on Friday.
这个报告周五提交。
I have found clarity to be particularly important to me and my identity as a gay man.
我发现清晰对我和我作为同性恋者的身份尤为重要。
Before the GSB, I was working overseas in a country with less than stellar LGBT productions.
在加入 GSB 之前，我在海外工作，在一个没有什么优秀的 LGBT 作品的国家。
And when I was talking to a government official, our conversation got into personal chit-chat territory.
当我和一位政府官员谈话时，我们的谈话变成了私人闲聊。
He asked me whether I had a girlfriend back home.
他问我在家乡有没有女朋友。
I thought about what to say.
我想了想该说什么。
I decided to say no, I have a partner back home, and I emphasized that word.
我决定说“不”，我在国内有个伴侣，我强调了“伴侣”这个词。
To my appreciation, he understood what I meant, and he proceeded to ask me about my partner back home in Seattle.
让我感激的是，他理解了我的意思，接着问了我在西雅图的搭档。
In this instance, one conscious choice of clear language helped me to make a more productive and authentic relationship with this official.
在这种情况下，有意识地选择清晰的语言帮助我与这位官员建立了更有效和真实的关系。
So I hope that this gives you some techniques to follow to improve the clarity of your communication.
所以我希望这能给你一些技巧来提高你的沟通清晰度。
I'll now pass it to Ajay to speak to you about confidence.
现在我把话筒传给 Ajay，让她给大家讲一讲信心。
If a voice in you says, you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.
如果你内心有个声音说，你不会画画，那你一定要去画画，然后那个声音就会消失。
That's been some mango.
事情就是这样。
Now, we cannot all be master painters realistically, but we all owe it to ourselves to reach our full potential, and to step into our power.
我们不可能都成为现实的大师画家，但我们都应该充分发挥我们的潜力，并进入我们的力量。
Especially as the woman in the audience, too often we get perpetually underestimated.
尤其是作为观众中的女性，我们经常被低估。
So here are a few strategies to help us build and project our confidence.
所以这里有一些策略来帮助我们建立和展示我们的信心。
Strategy number one, be courageous and step up.
策略一，勇敢起来，勇往直前。
Women research has found out that, women are very, very unlikely to apply for a job until they feel they're 100% qualified.
女性研究发现，只有在女性觉得自己能完全胜任这份工作时，她们才能得到这份工作。
Whereas men feel a lot more comfortable applying, even when they have just a few of the qualifications.
而男性即使只具备其中的几项条件，也会更容易申请。
And, let me tell you, this holds true, even here at the Stanford GSB.
这是真的，即使在斯坦福大学商学院也是如此。
Recently a female classmate of ours reached out to me and asked me for help with her application for a venture capital job.
最近，我们的一位女同学找到我，请我帮她申请一份风险投资的工作。
A few days later, she told me that the deadline had passed, but she hadn't applied, because she felt like she was underqualified.
几天后，她告诉我截止日期已过，但她没有申请，因为她觉得自己不够资格。
So, this is the best business school in the world.
我们知道，斯坦福大学世界上最好的商学院。
And this woman had come from a top consulting firm, and even she had such, such strong doubts about herself.
而这位女同学来自一家顶级咨询公司，就连她也对自己有如此强烈的怀疑。
So, women in the audience, and the men who are our allies, let's make a commitment to each other to have a seat at the table and apply for that job.
所以，在座的女士们，以及我们的盟友们，让我们互相承诺，在谈判桌上有一席之地，并申请这份工作。
Strategy number two, manage interruptions.
策略二，管理干扰。
So, as you can see, women get interrupted disproportionately often.
所以，正如你所看到的，女性在谈话中总是被打断。
And so, Francis Frait from Harvard has a great strategy for us when we anticipate being interrupted.
因此，哈佛大学的弗朗西斯·弗莱特有一个很好的策略。
Make your point at the very beginning of the story, so when you do get interrupted you're still going to get credit for having made that point.
在故事的一开始就提出你的观点，这样当你被打断的时候，你仍然会因为提出了这个观点而得到赞扬。
And when you do get interrupted, our friend Allison has a great strategy to deal with it.
当你被打扰时，我们的朋友艾莉森有一个很好的策略来处理它。
Which is with humor, for example. - And you can sit at the table very confidently, remember.
比如幽默。— 你可以非常自信地坐在桌前，对吧？
Thank you, Leila, that's a great point, it was also a great point when I made it 10 minutes ago.
谢谢你，莱拉，这是一个很好的观点，我 10 分钟前说的也是一个很好的观点。
Strategy number three, reduce the apologies.
策略三，减少道歉。
Again, as Allison has taught us, women too often start and end a conversation with I'm sorry, but there's no point for us to apologize unless we're actually sorry.
正如艾莉森告诉我们的那样，女性经常以“对不起”开始和结束谈话，但除非我们真的很抱歉，否则我们没有必要道歉。
And, as long as we feel like we have a valid point, we should feel comfortable taking space in the room.
而且，只要我们觉得我们有一个有效的观点，我们就应该在房间里舒服地占据空间。
For example, if there was an act of fire, hypothetically speaking, excuse me, may I have a moment, is not the right opener.
例如，假设这里发生了火灾，说“不好意思，能让我待会儿吗？”并不是一个合适的开场白。
An alternative, and potentially life-changing exchange will be, hey, there was an act of fire, let's go.
另一种可能改变人生的交流方式是：“嘿，发生了火灾，我们走吧。”
And with that, I'm going to pass it over to Leila to talk about competence.
说到这里，我将把它交给蕾拉来谈谈能力。
Confidence without competence is a little bit like icing without cake, delicious, but it's probably not something that you wouldn't want to serve at your dinner table.
没有能力的自信有点像没有蛋糕的糖霜，很美味，但这可能不是你不想在餐桌上提供的东西。
A few years ago at work, I got feedback from my boss.
几年前，在工作中，我得到了老板的反馈。
He said that I wasn't doing a good job of demonstrating my competence.
他说，我没有很好地展示我的能力。
Why?
为什么？
Because I speak pretty confidently relative to other women.
因为相对于其他女人，我说话相当自信。
So it was difficult for people to distinguish when I was strongly stating hypotheses, versus stating facts that I had done a lot of research on.
所以人们很难区分我是在强烈地陈述假设，还是在陈述我做了大量研究的事实。
So, how do you make sure that you actually demonstrate your competence, while also remaining true to your identity?
那么，你如何确保你在展示自己的能力的同时，又忠于自己的身份呢？
Our two main levers, doing good work, and actually doing good preparation.
我们的两个主要杠杆：做好工作，做好准备。
Good work is relatively straightforward, do your homework, put in the time to prepare on topics that you're speaking about.
好的工作是相对直接的，做好功课，花时间准备你要讲的话题。
Good preparation is much more nuanced.
好的准备要细致得多。
Because it first requires you to understand the biases that your audience will have about you because of your identity.
因为它首先要求你理解你的听众会因为你的身份而对你产生偏见。
Then, it requires you to actually deliver the message that you want to send while remaining true to this identity, and staying authentic.
然后，它要求您实际传递您想要发送的消息，同时保持对该身份的真实，并保持真实性。
You can do this with three kinds of speaking tools, vocal tools, verbal tools, and visual tools.
你可以使用三种说话工具：声音、言辞和视觉。
For example, as a woman, in addition to the bias that I described at the beginning, I tend to appear smaller, younger, and more inexperienced than men, and I have less gravitas.
例如，作为一名女性，除了我在开头描述的偏见之外，我往往会显得比男性更小、更年轻、更缺乏经验，而且我没有那么庄重。
What do I do?
我该怎么做？
Vocally, I try to make sure that my voice doesn't go up and down in the middle of my sentences, and that I don't end my sentences on an upward note, which is a common pitfall with females.
在发音上，我尽量确保我的声音不会在我的句子中间上下起伏，而且我不会以一个上升的音符结束我的句子，这是女性的一个常见陷阱。
Verbally, I try to make sure that I actually have strong synthesis, and that I line up supporting details behind things that I'm sure about.
言语上，我试图确保我确实有很强的综合能力，并且我会在我确定的事情后面排列支持细节。
And then visually, I try to stand straight and take up space to increase my gravitas.
然后在视觉上，我试着站直，占据空间来增加我的庄严。
Remember to stay authentic in the midst of all of this.
记住在这一切中保持真实。
One of the best communicators I've ever worked with was a five foot, one woman who led a team of army generals.
我共事过的最好的沟通者之一是一个身高五英尺的女人，她领导着一个军队将领团队。
I have such strong memories of her sitting at long conference tables surrounded by large men with loud voices.
我清楚地记得，她坐在长长的会议桌旁，周围都是嗓门很大的大个子。
She'd typically be in a light pink or light lavender suit.
她通常会穿浅粉色或淡紫色的西装。
And yes, no one ever questioned her competence, because she acted like herself.
是的，没有人质疑过她的能力，因为她表现得像她自己。
Her voice was soft, yet it would still carry, she made her points and then back them up.
她的声音很柔和，但仍然有说服力，她先提出自己的观点，然后再加以支持。
So, stay authentic.
所以，保持真实。
Now, I'm going to hand it over to Mike to tell you a little bit about connection.
现在，我将把话筒交给迈克，让他来告诉你们一些关于建立“联系”的事情。
Thanks, Leila.
谢谢你，莱拉。
That's a great story.
这是一个很棒的故事。
In fact, stories are one of the most impactful tools we can use to connect with our audiences.
事实上，故事是我们可以用来与观众建立联系的最有影响力的工具之一。
Think about storytime when you were a kid, or the last meeting you were in, you often remember the story more than the actual content.
回想一下你小时候讲故事的时间，或者你参加的最后一次会议，你经常记得的故事比实际内容多。
JD Schramm's book talks about the value of embracing your personal identity to bring a connection to your audience, and allow them to gain a perspective on your viewpoint.
JD Schramm 的书谈到了拥抱你的个人身份的价值，它可以与你的听众建立联系，并让他们从你的观点中获得一个视角。
These authentic stories can make your communication all the more impactful.
这些真实的故事可以使你的交流更有影响力。
Now, one of the identities that he talks about in the book is that of the rookie.
他在书中谈到的身份之一是菜鸟。
Now, we all know your first few weeks on the job can be quite challenging.
我们都知道，一开始的工作可能会有些棘手。
This is actually one of your best opportunities to build connection with those around.
这实际上是你与周围人建立联系的最好机会之一。
But let me show you what my first day on the job was like before I understood this important secret.
但让我告诉你，在我明白这个重要秘密之前，我第一天上班是什么样子的。
Hey, Mike, welcome to your first day at Stanford Capital Partners.
嗨，迈克，欢迎来到斯坦福资本合伙公司的第一天。
Let me tell you a bit about how we run our Monday morning meeting.
让我告诉你一些关于我们星期一上午会议的安排。
Look, look, Boss, I have a pretty good idea of how to run this.
听着，老大，我很清楚该怎么做。
Back when I was at Harvard Capital Partners, we started by talking about our layoffs, then about our weekly profit.
当我还在哈佛资本合伙公司工作的时候，我们从裁员开始，然后是每周的利润。
How do you think I did?
你觉得我做得怎么样？
This was a missed opportunity.
这是一次错失的机会。
First, when you start on the job, this is the ideal time to build connections and build allies before you ever need them.
首先，当你开始工作时，这是在你需要他们之前建立关系和建立盟友的理想时间。
In other words, I need to put cookies into the jar before I start taking any of them.
换句话说，在我开始拿饼干之前，我需要把饼干放进罐子里。
Second, it's a great opportunity to ask questions so that you're curious and hungry.
其次，这是一个问问题的好机会，这样你就会好奇和渴望。
As time goes on it will become much harder to ask those dumb questions.
随着时间的推移，问这些愚蠢的问题会变得越来越困难。
And third, I should avoid references to my prior job, and not think about those differences as wrong.
第三，应该避免提及以前的工作，不要认为这些差异是错误的。
While it can be helpful to provide an outside perspective, you need to embrace the culture and the processes of your new firm.
虽然提供一个外部视角会有所帮助，但你需要接受新公司的文化和流程。
Let's try this one more time.
让我们再试一次。
Hey, Mike, welcome to your first day at Stanford Capital Partners.
嗨，迈克，欢迎来到斯坦福资本合伙公司的第一天。
Let me tell you about how we run our Monday morning meeting.
让我来告诉你我们是如何召开周一上午的会议的。
We usually start by running through an update on the pipeline of our exciting projects.
我们通常会先回顾一下正在进行的激动人心的项目。
How does that sound to you?
你觉得怎么样？
Boss, that sounds great.
老板，听起来不错。
In fact, I was going to talk about the new communication optimizer project.
事实上，我要讲的是新的通信优化器项目。
I have some great customer stories.
我有一些很棒的客户故事。
But I also think your perspective will be helpful.
但我也认为你的观点会有所帮助。
Think you can help me run through the presentation?
你能帮我看一下演示吗？
Sure.
当然。
By the way, how's little Johnny's baseball team doing?
顺便问一下，小约翰尼的棒球队怎么样了？
So remember, take advantage of being a rookie.
所以记住，好好利用你的菜鸟身份。
Build connections, tell stories, set yourself up for success in any new environment.
建立联系，讲故事，在任何新环境中为成功做好准备。
So, hopefully you now understand the importance of the four C's.
所以，希望你现在明白了 4C 原则的重要性。
While you may not conquer and master the entire grid, you can use these techniques to improve your effectiveness as a communicator.
虽然您可能无法征服和掌握所有的这些技巧，但您可以使用这些技术来提高您作为沟通者的效率。
By doing so, you can embrace your own personal identity to excel as a communicator and a leader.
这样你就能成为一名出色的沟通者和领导者。
Empowering your teams and inspiring your alliances.
让你的团队越来越好。
Thank you.
谢谢。
We'd now like to open it up for questions.
现在请大家提问。